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Archives for posts with tag: dancing
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sirens

September 25, 11 //
1
Narratives
dancing, deepsicks, halloween

The night is full of sirens, distant ambuli and poleece at our beck if we wish, to bring down the sweatervests beating the yarns from another sweatervest, stories in hollers, last breath, “No, Officer, I didn’t get the gist,” even though we stopped for it, violence is loud. Deafens other sound.

Should we call the cops?
What if they kill him and we watch?
What if they beat their women.

But what if they’re just having a bad night. The drink and passion poison, Katy Perry at loud volume, any is enough to trigger aggression, hell, son’ll put a steak on his face in the morning. Right as rain. Officers of the peace will bring war to their future. What if Assault and Battery prevents their profession, these young, preppy men, students of law, of medicine?

What if it doesn’t.
Marketers. Madmen.

The popped-collar gang backs away but the boy who got beat rushes the fray and it all starts again.

Anna calls.


If it is your first visit to my apartment, it’s cool, go for it. Lie on the floor and roll around in my carpet, everybody does it. Hate to give way all my secrets, but it’s how I know you’re okay. You’re one of me.

Priming shouts to dance we check the time, our teeth, our Janus heads chewing forked tails with ales tales! mixed drinks and metaphors, a dense lush deep flush, the ouzo Ouroboros. Hurl the hurt that ain’t, dumb ache and tremor, the promise of fornever RUN FOR COVER! so terrible to trust but so wonderful to wonder how one hand will wash the other.

What’re you gonna be for Halloweeeeeeen? Hell if we know. I still want to be an equestrian in stark, slim riding clothes capped with my horsehead, cracking a crop, but the mask should probably be stowed a couple years or so. Let folk forget. Disabuse that I’m obsessed. I’ve long been intrigued by the athletic challenge of being the Dancing Banana Gif, and some year I’d like to try Carrie White, a costume and performance that would evolve over the night from mild, sweet thing to blood-sopped psycho, though probably minus starting fires with my mind.

We could be sirens, Anna says. Or was it furies. Gorgons. Some version of evil womens, alluring and destructive because I guess that’s what we’re good at, stomping spinning dancing danger and deception. True declination but false elevation. We put you in your place because you get in our way. No soft spots. No hard feelings.

Fleeing the crime scene when the authorities arrive, I must admit: I entertained the fantasy of daring a drunk to punch me in the face then whisking the ruffian victim away, feeding him eggrolls and mp3s to coax come out, wherever you are sobriety. We’d shame him like a brother, threaten to call his mother and tough-love his life away from the brink. Deranging his darkness. Rattling his deathwish. We probably aren’t so different. There’s more to life than this.

Before he remembers he’s sane, could tell us off or tell us his name, before the liniments soothe the pain, within minutes he’d think he’s testing limits, stripping to his ligaments to swim in the shag.

But who’m I kidding. Cut the shit and kill the light.

We ruined more lives than we saved tonight.

1
 comments
 

raincheck

November 3, 10 //
0
Narratives
dancing, music, sad face, shows

Note the date.
The ticket, not torn.

First time listening to the latest album, I knew I had to see them before the opening track was done:

I dreamed about the few US tour locations with the might of so what, I can do this, do anything, I am an adult! now soon again, Happy New Job, Happy Spontaneity, Happy Halloween, Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Favorite Band for Half My Life and Counting, still staggered by the tracks that triggered and changed me. Still changing.

Ticket, purchased.

Not soon after… knee gone awry. Plane tickets not yet bought, I hoped against hope the twist was fluke, would not take my life. It wasn’t. It did. “Sprained ligaments,” or something, not even six weeks would fix, and I know me pretty well. The pain of so close, so far flung away before the stage, I could not have stopped myself from dancing. I can barely hold back in my kitchen. It would have been a nightmare of tears and joint tearing, permanent damage, maybe, for all my everlasting love.

I have seen them before, in Chicago, 2002, the Greyhound solo to a big scary city I didn’t know a soul in, or need to. Every vision quest starts with a decision, determination, a little bit of crazy, lots of heart.

I didn’t try to sell the ticket, hoping I would be magically healed or dangerously self-destructive, last minute fly to San Diego and burst. But no. I am yes an adult. Thirty years old, today. Gray hairs and acne. Still going through a stage as I limp dance across my own.

They steal my breath and give it back, crush my chest and set me writhing, drink my blood and turn me into light. They taught me things don’t have to mean things to tell stories, the sound of words more telling, instrumental than their meaning, and thingevery thingevery thingevery will be all right.

Maybe some other time then okay?

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 comments
 

monstertime

April 29, 10 //
0
Narratives
dancing, deepsicks, music, vancouver, writing

Spring is come. I show my body who’s boss, biking top gear, running down blocks, dancing till I drop every jaw every thought chewing out my guts of fourteen hour days of not getting paid to be poor enough, trying to stay awake for the nightlife, a symptom of getting old? a too comfortable bed, but my muscles crave a mission. Go forth and multiphasic cut the floor in angles, step snap spastic, stand stalk thrill.

“Can you teach me how to dance?”

Can you teach me how to stand still.

I miss Vancouver James. He would know what to do, and he would deny it, but he’s better at people. Don’t be afraid to look foolish, is what I want to say. The fear shows and the fear is worse.

Well the Cure’s all rubber necks, hips and broken kneecaps, Suicide Commando, you’re gonna want a fist. But I don’t know how to explain something like “Assimilate,” a darksider staple in Skinny Puppy’s Vancouver. I’d stomp the shit out of that song and awful feelings feeling so far from home and close to where I come from, untamable untellable hell and hearing it now I’m all the none the wiser not dying, you’d have to put me down with a tranquilizer to get me to stop crying.

“Where did you learn how to dance?”

A bowling alley basement in Fargo, North Dakota? YouTube talent shows? Everyone better than me? Alone in my room for years, mostly. The average slice of time I devote to dancing each day/night in my tiny apartment, staining the floorboards with tire-sole scuffs and sweat till I strip to longjohns add it up! the intermission screenbreaks, can’t sleeps, can’t wakes, 45 minutes, I’d say. Give or take. I beat the mouth of my fist into my heartcage, slap the fillets of my abdomen, dance with my teeth, my spine, my spit, my third eye and no self.

Write what you know, right? what you don’t believe in, the reason you don’t know what to do. Until it makes sense. Until you come true.

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 comments
 

we came down from the north

July 19, 09 //
2
Narratives, Photography
dancing, journeys, shows

I went to Portland, gosh it happened fast. Vegan sushi speed chess toilet down the hall and tiny soaps on ropes I’m taking them all, lost in Powell’s Books and ciphering suitcase allocation—not back to Van, but leaving the whole coast. Silent reading, so much volume, words are so much weight. Greyhound will growl, Canada Post, flog my wallet. So I just look. Breathe in all those books. I want to walk the city, play with public transportation, but the boys want the shore 80 miles away. Dudes, we live in a beach town. We don’t need no stinkin ocean. But it’s hard to complain when the sand is so fine it slips into your pores. The salt water taffy extracts my teeth. Even the wily gulls, devouring our rice krispie bars, charm.

We came for VNV but it’s hard to believe we’re actually gonna see them when suddenly there they are, talking too long between songs as always and playing the predicted mix of battering ram epics and dorkbright new tunes. Ronan suffers a mysterious injury, grits his teeth in fury he can’t show us how it’s done, but we forgive and dance hard anyway, bounce and sweat and shout then eat on Voodoo Donuts and find the afterparty, which looks and vibes like a high school dance if, you know, you toiled teenage years at Rivethead High or Cybergoth Secondary. This was, obviously, awesome. There was even blood on the dance floor, for real (…rest in peace, Michael.)

The next morning we assailed the farmers market, making off with flats of berries and sausage-fat snap peas. Though we’d barely just arrived, we then headed back north, sick on cherries, cured on rustic corn nuts and thrash-car-dancing with the never-ending soundtrack of Saltillo and The Knife.

I wish I had more time.

Who doesn’t.

2
 comments
 
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