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Archives for posts with tag: hilarity
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2012 llama pageant: the kids are all right

September 7, 12 //
1
Narratives, Photography
art, hilarity, swoons

The Llama Costume Contest at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair returned with glorious, unbridled imagination and drama at every cloven step. Which clever sibling, competing side by side, will have the superior theme and costume execution? Will Annaliese and her Viking Ship Llama again reign supreme to recapture the Llama Crown? DEAR GOD is that the same Eeyore from last year who suffered horrifying panic attacks?!?

It was not an event for the faint of heart. Sommer, Matt, Tom and I slipped work early to bask in deep-fried cheese, beer and the wonder wrought by rural teens’ genius minds.

Teams are judged on creativity, coverage (how fully concealed their cute little llama and alpaca bodies are) and something the announcer mealy-mouth referred to as “how the animal moves” and responds to its human companion. In short, we figured, compliance.

Creatively, Coverage, Compliance! Know it live it breathe it, kids!
PERFORM EXCEL SOAR!

Bathtub llama was brilliant but a bit cantankerous.

Caterpillar Llama was dang good, though looked more like a Martian with its spacesuit-like-clad handler. This was the grumpiest llama companion I have ever seen, but they still managed to take the intermediate division. Sometimes coverage is everything.

The overall concept for the drag ballerina boy seemed a bit muddled, but we give extra points for bravery (the 2011 Knight Duo, no?). The official judges, unfortunately, do not.

Decency prevents me from leaving the bleachers to get up in llamas’ faces. Thus some shots are less than superb, though I cannot resist sharing even a poor shot of Curious George (an alpaca?) and the Man in the Yellow Hat. Hurrah!

EEYORE! OMG! Last year’s Eeyore Llama went berserk, rolling and thrashing with pitiful brays. The coverage was excellent but severely impacted compliance and its general will to live. Those in the know gasped upon seeing Eeyore’s return, with a smaller, skinnier Piglet trembling at its side.

Was this costume traded on the black market or thieved in the night by an unsuspecting cheater? Was a younger sibling strong-armed into reprising this surely labor-intensive work of art (but destruction!!)? Did the girl courageously assume the risk to defend the family honor? Was an original, more elaborate costume in the works all summer but destroyed by dark gods?

Did they possibly think we could ever forget the panic and the horror?

GOD’S WOUNDS! WAS IT THE SAME LLAMA?


(The 2011 Eeyore for comparison.)

Eeyore this year was a bit unruly but managed to escape full-on trauma but also any official commendation. We on the sideline say: Good job, Piglet. But we hope to see you next year in something new and less heart-attack-y.

Flapper and Fancy Dancer were a hit, especially when the alpaca lost his pants.

Turning a llama into a giraffe is an obvious choice, but someone had to do it. I would have liked a more closely fitted costume, but the megawatt grin of the safari companion made up for other shortcomings.

Don’t know about you, but I love an alpaca dressed as a wolf dressed as a grandma. Notice the lil’ rubber nose and teeth mask. As Sommer noted, “It’s touches like that” that steal our hearts and make us squeal.

Wonderful costume, Little Red Riding Hood!

After seeing the Lady and Knight Llama, I wanted another C category. I wanted Companionship. These two were adorable and clearly having tremendous fun. The girl’s mom sat near us, too, with a thousand thumbs ups. I was a puddle.

Excellent coverage on Rudolph, here.

Mountie and Moose! Nice. Here we also have our first shot of Annaliese, last year’s senior division champ, with presumably who had been Viking Ship Llama.

She blew us all away with Steampunk Time Machine Llama. They were beyond rad. As they looped around the barn, the wings were tucked in the saddle device then shot out with a pop. The crowd roared. Lookit dem gears! Those goggles, tubes and wire! That confidence and charm.

Awesome job, Annaliese, and all participants! You are the best damn thing at the Great Minnesota Get-Together.

If only they’d use that time machine to stay teenagers forever so they can keep making llama costumes every all summer and knock off our socks every end of August and assure us that the kids are all right.


See my post from the 2011 Llama Pageant.

1
 comments
 

2011 llama pageant

September 1, 11 //
1
Photography
art, hilarity, joy, st. paul

Yesterday I saw my first llama pageant, an annual event at the Minnesota State Fair and now, inevitably, a tradition for me of hilarity and wildly imaginative kids and their decked out llamas. Here are a few of the notable:

Frog Prince llama—winner of the Intermediate division.

Garden llama has shoes!

Eeyore llama looked great but was having panic attacks. Mer.

This is a terrible picture of Viking Ship llama, but it was fantastic (and champion of the Senior division). Its legs are the ocean (with fish!), and the boat on its back has movable paddles. Stunning.

Mickey Mouse llama was scary. Never put an animal in a white hood. Just don’t.

Just when I thought my evening couldn’t get any better, I saw QR code crop art:

…which takes you to a psychedelic video about seeds:

Thank you, MN State Fair. Thank you.

1
 comments
 

how not to pick me up

September 9, 10 //
2
Shouts
found text, hilarity, internets

The first xtranormal I saw, I fell in love. It’s not that every conversation should be reduced to monotone text-to-voice, often foul-mouthed cuddly avatars. It’s that they invariably are, now, in my head, while conversations are actively happening.

Here’s my first foray. The web-based software was easy to use but I could not get it to render properly in the final publishing. The camera angle cuts are out of place, with some herky-jerky movements I didn’t put in the script. Hrm. Disappointing. I’ll have to experiment more later. In the meantime, here is how not to pick me up at the Minneapolis Electronic Music Festival.

2
 comments
 

ode to Colin

August 31, 10 //
1
Shouts
hilarity, joy

Colin came to visit from a mysterious land across the sea. They fill him with beer, the best curry and theories about linguistics. He has the greatest student ID photo ever.


Bree and I take him to the zombie bar. I show him to the river. Kentucky born and raised, Colin came to Minneapolis over a decade ago because of a music video. He was on a couch at a crossroads. Prince was a sign. When he uses his redneck voice—dopey, lecherous—Bree and I pretty much die.

So much fun seeing you, C. Stay gold.

1
 comments
 

whos laughing now

July 4, 10 //
5
Photography
america, found text, hilarity, holledays

A selection of Chinese-made American fireworks.








My favorite is Baby Boomers, with the sad, frustrated adults.

5
 comments
 

cookie monster

February 9, 10 //
8
Photography, Shouts
art, hilarity, joy

The only good part about Valentine’s Day is Bree’s annual cookie-decorating soiree, which I’ve missed for the past three years. I was back in full effect on Sunday, Super Bowl be damned. I am a cookie-decorating rockstar (and stylish plate fiend). BOOYAH!

For the record, I (obviously) oppose misogyny, including blanket, derogatory predictions about a woman’s sexual mores based on a predilection for dumb tattoos. But they really are dumb tattoos. What’s a post-feminist to do?

How about attend a gathering of cloying domesticity (baked treats party, SQUEAL!) and make a bad-ass cookie, pun pretty much intended, that represents a literal inversion of the sanitized Valentine’s Day symbol of love and romance back into its traditional representation: female genitalia.

Is that ironic enough? I think so. In fact, I think this tramp stamp cookie deserves an award.

8
 comments
 
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