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Archives for posts with tag: rants
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deter.mining

August 28, 04 //
8
Narratives, Photography
politics, rants

I have grown weary of the politics of not talking about politics. As Election 2004 approaches, we are bombarded with misinfotainment and general media absurdity (both ketchup and mustard?). Being blessed without cable television, I’ve been able to avoid the majority of the least common denominator noise brought to us by filled with blanks. But I can’t help but notice that while it seems to be the topic du jour, it’s also watered down, without substance. Well, duh, you say, but still. Everyone wants to talk about how important it is, but no one wants to discuss what it is that’s important. Too often too many act too carefully to cater to all—to not impose opinion or anything “devisive,” only to contribute to the general clamor.

And I admit, I do it myself—in the last news item, I threw down a link for voter registration but failed to say what I’m really thinking, which is vote for John Kerry or I will be very upset. Though where I stand should be clear, I’ve tried to keep deepsicks free of overt inclinations, wanting to push an emotional agenda, not a political one. But increasingly what I’m thinking and feeling is too tied to the world to define it with neutrality, to worry if a d6 visitor gets a negative vibe, is offended or feels left out. Enough of that—of typerote talking and preschool inclusion, of submitting to the useful idiot feeling strongly stance about the middle ground and my own fear of screaming too loudly in one direction so my words are dismissed or aren’t heard at all. Am I gonna make someone “feel bad”? Well, too bad, ’cause I feel horrible—about Iraq, the economy, human and civil rights and the overwhelming hypocrisy of what’s considered “compassionate” and “conservative.” Close friends and many casual acquaintances know how I feel or just assume given comments and assume correctly. But I do find myself actively avoiding thoughtful discussion and heartfelt rants, thinking it not worth it or worthless to even try… and it cuts off. Odd how that works—I’m either alienating others or alienating myself, and agreeing to disagree may keep office tensions low but does not and cannot work grandscale when backsliding policy affecting us all is implemented anyway.

I respect tremendously the highly visible people—musicians, actors and celebrities of whatever sort—who have ceased the backseat to what they’re thinking/feeling at the expense of losing segments of their audiences. I full heartedly support the Vote for Change tour and have appropriately thrown down to be blown away by Bruce Springsteen, REM and Bright Eyes on October 5 in Saint Paul (with a look of disgust in Governor Pawlenty’s direction after his disturbingly ignorant talk-radio criticism of Springsteen, claiming he “really appreciates his music but wishes he didn’t interject it with politics.” Someone needs some liner notes, hey). The bands and musicians associated with the tour may risk alienating fans (even governors of swing states), but for those of us who feel the same, we’re drawn all the closer and admire them even more, further motivated to speak out ourselves—not to mention move the cause with bottom-lining money.

So. In keeping: The presidential battle is not a matter of the party lines and loyalty to identities as democrats or republicans. It’s about examining values and determining whether these are truly being represented by the current administration. Inform yourself as a citizen instead of allowing yourself to be marketed to as a consumer. The institution of the government and all that bleeds down from it—from the size of your paycheck to the quality of your education to whose blood soaks what foreign soil to who you’re allowed to love and have it recognized—shapes our collective and personal lives, and it’s there believe it or not because we the people will it. So what do you want—for you, your family, friends, neighbors and future generations.

*steps down.*

So. Yeah. I’ve added some Wormwood photos from a show August 21 in White Bear Lake. The boys drip hot in pursuit of EP completion, which I’ve been hearing for months though I’m inclined to believe anything that makes me happy (heh heh, just kidding—>seeing if you’re paying attention).

Also check out a new photo album of graffiti tags I’ve collected around Minneapolis and Saint Paul, tentatively titled msp.evidence. This section may or may not evolve into something more than dilettante me and my digital camera, but I figured I’d share ’cause really, why not.

Been disappointed in the lack of hot, humid weather this summer—it breathes the best, puts me in needed moods, and when I get bad, I tempt worst.

Also: I want to learn how to sew.

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 comments
 

tuning out, turning in

November 30, 03 //
0
Shouts, Site News
angst, rants, writing

And how was your day? and how was your day? and how was your day at every moment step stop of the way could be doing anything, so I decided I would. Stop writing about writing, talking about talking, dreaming about dreaming. Now I do about doing. I am on sabbatical, become every bit as magical as pretends, as religious as I really am not, out of the world and into myself seen through myself and not the eyes of waiting for the next open wide big lie invitation, welcome to frustration and misunderstanding. When you dream, you don’t leave. It’s all you—all the time.

Uh… in other news… Kevin Kautzman of Cassiel Alpha interviewed me. Read the transcript and perhaps check out some others, including West Thordson of A Whisper in the Noise who graciously allowed us to hear a demo of their upcoming currently untitled sophomore release, with hope available in January. The album will eat the hearts of your teenaged grandchildren.

In rather inconsequential site news, the hit counter at the very bottom of the news page broke, so I got a new one, obtained here. I don’t know how many hits I had before the crash, so I’m starting at 3414 and calling it good. There’s no ads involved with this counter which oddly enough compels me to advertise for them. So check it out if you’re into webbish stuff and no ads, though maybe give it a week to make sure it runs smoothly.

Speaking of advertising, this past Thanksgiving weekend in the company of family I watched more TV than I have in the past year. It was nauseating, and I don’t know if it’s gotten really bad, or if I’ve become so jaded, but I get severely tense and malicious and angry and violent whenever commercials come on (which is about every ten minutes). I was trying to watch movies and nearly combusted. I will never own a television meant for TV. Not only does one have to deal with commercial breaks (which more often than not show the same ads, even within the same “break”—do they think that Teletubbie “again! again!” shite is necessary for adults, too?), they run the banners across the bottom advertising upcoming shows or throw their enormous, distracting, ugly logo in the corner. Yeah, this is ranting, but chrise. Are people not complaining? Do they think this makes sense? When cable television first arrived, you paid not for channel selection, but for not having to watch ads. Do you remember that? How about going to the movie theater and not having to pay eight bucks to sit through slide-show commercials and that asinine “Find the Coke bottles!” exercise in brand awareness? Are you aware that a proposed use for CGI is slipping products in TV show reruns—a can of Sprite on a countertop one day, a box of Cheerios the next?

Marketers, corporations, hell, even consumers themselves believe advertisers have the right to sell to me—everything is cluttered with desire for the empty, the promise to fill needs I didn’t know I didn’t have, all the while crushing social-cultural consciousness with the understanding that I’m not sophisticated or hip or hardworking enough to pay for things I don’t want when I tune out, when I turn away, when I say I’m not a have-not, I’m a don’t-want, well, fuck that noise. And it’s noise. And it’s everywhere. Take a marker and black out every ad in the newspaper and see how much you have left—news content, whatever that means, and ink in your marker. Think of every minute, every hour you waste every day paying attention, and how appropriate—you “pay” attention, because they’re not buying it, at least not from you. I hope you all participated in Buy Nothing Day. If not, just leave, you disgust me.

Tomorrow is my four-year anniversary as a vegetarian. I invite you to enter The Meatrix. …And leave it.

Have a nice day.

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Joy, Rage, and Adventures in Interlibrary Loan

January 9, 03 //
0
Narratives, Site News
books, libraries, minneapolis, music, rants, shows, U of M

Greetings. The holidays were great. I’m still on vacation until the 21st, yay. Been busy working and trying to nurse my sick computer back to health. If you have the piece-of-junk MSN Messenger tag-along program “loadqm” running in the background of your Windows, kill it, now. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what’s been giving me the business for the past few weeks. I’m far from a technical genius, and I hate to be frontin’ by seemingly giving advice, but whatever. Here’s a cool site if you ever wondered what-in-the-crap is that crap running in Window’s Task Manager, and whether or not murder’s okay. So… yeah, Windows sucks. Especially when you’re still running 98 (lowers head in shame). I’ll be rocking a Mac for my electronic art class next semester… provided my head doesn’t explode, perhaps I’ll make “the switch” (tee hee).

For Annual Gift Giving Day I got a toaster oven (thanks Sam!) and as the best Boxing Day gift ever, a new bike!—a 2003 Specialized Sport. I haven’t had a bike since I was 14. Know why? The last one I had, I didn’t lock up one time. Leaned it against the steps in front of my home in West Fargo. It was a red Trek 700, beautiful, good fun. It was stolen within the five minutes I was inside. I felt so stupid—terminally senseless, and embarrassed, and irresponsible, so I never got another one. Until now. I brought it back to Minneapolis. Thick cable lock, which I was nervous about. Planned to get a U-lock very shortly. I rode it to work on Tuesday. It was my third time riding it. And it was stolen. Someone pulled the bike rack out of the ground (which wasn’t difficult at all—not seeing any cut cables, I investigated, aw hell, this thing isn’t even cemented in). I was and am so pissed. Looking half hobo, half hiphop, feeling one hundred percent punk rock ready to destroy, I stalked the West Bank idiot-hopeful like someone would leave it in the open for me to rescue. Riverside to Cedar, I choked on guts all over, stupid and scared and bikeless, turning home I cried.

Wah wah wah, but christ, it meant a lot. I am several thousand dollar (debt) springtime piece of paper privileged, things things things but I don’t take them for granted. Computer, stereo, car, apartment, the food I eat and the music I pour in, I work hard and I feel lucky, and I will forever be mad but I’d mind a lot less if I believed the thief was some kid who needed a bike, too, and so stole it, and is riding it, and appreciating it… and not some professional asshole making killings lifting bikes, chopping them up and selling them part by part. I reported it to the campus police and explained the busted bike rack, which was called in immediately but still isn’t fixed. So. I am without a bike once again, damned to rollerblade like I’m twelve years old until I get over the asinine-but-real-enough guilt and the fear of this helpless feeling. Another eight years should do it.

Site News: I planned to get a lot done, but my ‘puter problems (in addition to deepsicks’ unavailability due to a new firewall in Fargo) have cut up time. Ooo, and Don DeLillo’s Underworld, which I’ve been reading like a fiend. But um… yes. I’ll be poking around, tweaking content. Probably nothing huge. I’m going to sit on the guestbook and Bored awhile—they don’t seem to be in high demand, anyway; if anyone knows of any *free, bannerless (or with only very unobtrusive ads), not highly technical services* contact me. Oh yeah, and there’s a new hit counter below. Yep. Thanks for the tip, Bree.

Current Music Selection: On Tuesday at First Ave I’ll be seeing Interpol and a band named Calla, the latter of which I was recently introduced to. I like them muchly. Check out Calla mp3s here. I don’t know how to describe them… good? Intriguing? Intriguing’s good. Ha. I definitely want to know more. New album out on the 21st.

Work News: Looking for an interlibrary loan item concerning conquistadors (<–what a great and horrible word), I reach behind a row of books on a bottom shelf… and feel something odd. So I move the books. And find some boots. Pretty nice boots. With a paper towel stuffed inside one of the toes. Of course I have to look. Wrapped in the towel is a little glass tube with some kinda, uh, substance. I don’t know exactly what this is—I don’t hang out with the cool kids—but I’m not completely stupid, either. Huh. Fun stuff. There’s a handful of transients who spend sizeable amounts of time in the library. Harmless, always. I return everything back into hiding. The boots were my size, but they were made of leather, and had a crackpipe in a napkin in the toe—and well I know the pain of pilfered things precious. Karma, man. Karma.

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