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Archives for posts with tag: swoons
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2012 llama pageant: the kids are all right

September 7, 12 //
1
Narratives, Photography
art, hilarity, swoons

The Llama Costume Contest at the 2012 Minnesota State Fair returned with glorious, unbridled imagination and drama at every cloven step. Which clever sibling, competing side by side, will have the superior theme and costume execution? Will Annaliese and her Viking Ship Llama again reign supreme to recapture the Llama Crown? DEAR GOD is that the same Eeyore from last year who suffered horrifying panic attacks?!?

It was not an event for the faint of heart. Sommer, Matt, Tom and I slipped work early to bask in deep-fried cheese, beer and the wonder wrought by rural teens’ genius minds.

Teams are judged on creativity, coverage (how fully concealed their cute little llama and alpaca bodies are) and something the announcer mealy-mouth referred to as “how the animal moves” and responds to its human companion. In short, we figured, compliance.

Creatively, Coverage, Compliance! Know it live it breathe it, kids!
PERFORM EXCEL SOAR!

Bathtub llama was brilliant but a bit cantankerous.

Caterpillar Llama was dang good, though looked more like a Martian with its spacesuit-like-clad handler. This was the grumpiest llama companion I have ever seen, but they still managed to take the intermediate division. Sometimes coverage is everything.

The overall concept for the drag ballerina boy seemed a bit muddled, but we give extra points for bravery (the 2011 Knight Duo, no?). The official judges, unfortunately, do not.

Decency prevents me from leaving the bleachers to get up in llamas’ faces. Thus some shots are less than superb, though I cannot resist sharing even a poor shot of Curious George (an alpaca?) and the Man in the Yellow Hat. Hurrah!

EEYORE! OMG! Last year’s Eeyore Llama went berserk, rolling and thrashing with pitiful brays. The coverage was excellent but severely impacted compliance and its general will to live. Those in the know gasped upon seeing Eeyore’s return, with a smaller, skinnier Piglet trembling at its side.

Was this costume traded on the black market or thieved in the night by an unsuspecting cheater? Was a younger sibling strong-armed into reprising this surely labor-intensive work of art (but destruction!!)? Did the girl courageously assume the risk to defend the family honor? Was an original, more elaborate costume in the works all summer but destroyed by dark gods?

Did they possibly think we could ever forget the panic and the horror?

GOD’S WOUNDS! WAS IT THE SAME LLAMA?


(The 2011 Eeyore for comparison.)

Eeyore this year was a bit unruly but managed to escape full-on trauma but also any official commendation. We on the sideline say: Good job, Piglet. But we hope to see you next year in something new and less heart-attack-y.

Flapper and Fancy Dancer were a hit, especially when the alpaca lost his pants.

Turning a llama into a giraffe is an obvious choice, but someone had to do it. I would have liked a more closely fitted costume, but the megawatt grin of the safari companion made up for other shortcomings.

Don’t know about you, but I love an alpaca dressed as a wolf dressed as a grandma. Notice the lil’ rubber nose and teeth mask. As Sommer noted, “It’s touches like that” that steal our hearts and make us squeal.

Wonderful costume, Little Red Riding Hood!

After seeing the Lady and Knight Llama, I wanted another C category. I wanted Companionship. These two were adorable and clearly having tremendous fun. The girl’s mom sat near us, too, with a thousand thumbs ups. I was a puddle.

Excellent coverage on Rudolph, here.

Mountie and Moose! Nice. Here we also have our first shot of Annaliese, last year’s senior division champ, with presumably who had been Viking Ship Llama.

She blew us all away with Steampunk Time Machine Llama. They were beyond rad. As they looped around the barn, the wings were tucked in the saddle device then shot out with a pop. The crowd roared. Lookit dem gears! Those goggles, tubes and wire! That confidence and charm.

Awesome job, Annaliese, and all participants! You are the best damn thing at the Great Minnesota Get-Together.

If only they’d use that time machine to stay teenagers forever so they can keep making llama costumes every all summer and knock off our socks every end of August and assure us that the kids are all right.


See my post from the 2011 Llama Pageant.

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 comments
 

House on the Rock

August 26, 12 //
1
Narratives, Photography
adventures, art, swoons, whoa

New York to Black Moshannon to Chicago to Motel 6, at last we reach House on the Rock. Prior pilgrims and the internet cannot prepare you, nor any supply of establishing shots. Why did wealthy, artist–eccentric Alex Jordan collect these things, build these bent fantasies, automaton musical instruments and fake antiques? Elaborate doll houses and carved whale teeth? Winged mannequins and eye-popping carousels passed off as whimsy but it’s spooky, it’s a wet bed, nightmare fuel in machine-shed warehouses nestled in the dells of Wisconsin.

“This was his dream,” a woman chides her husband who looks baffled and disgusted, collapsed on a couch in a claustrophobic room. “This is what he wanted to do.”

A shaky truth inside rebuke: Desire this wild, this intense and detailed excises the requirement to answer for it.

How could you question such a thing?

Arthur had experienced House on the Rock before. He kept mum on the comings up and held my hand through most of it.

Some of the displays were eye-candy quiet, like this wall I found in the toilet.

But we also witnessed a crime scene,

the vials and pills that couldn’t kill pain,

a steam-engine hearse to take the corpse the distance,

a carriage for the fancy dead just down the way.

Then all heaven and hell broke loose, menageries, too, as we plugged in tokens to watch the rooms move, the chairs playing their violins hooked to wires and tubes,

carousels spinning much too fast thousands of lights and vacant looks.

This was his dream.

Embodied desire.

To dream is to deserve everything.

But who is this procession for, this mad, surreal parade?

Us. Of course.

Our wonder and horror complete the vision.

Giving our gaze to give it meaning.

Even if we don’t believe it’s happening.

It’s happening.

Holding hands for tenderness and terror.

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 comments
 

emo tortugas all the way down

June 9, 12 //
0
Photography, Shouts
joy, swoons

I’m not one for souvenirs. I like a nice rock picked off a beach, sure. A seed pod will do. But when I spotted the turtle wind chime in Puerto Viejo, my heart split asunder.

LOOKIT THEIR LITTLE FACES!

So serious, so bored, so beautiful.

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Costa Rica! Part 2: Limón

May 28, 12 //
1
Narratives, Photography
adventures, biking, dancing, journeys, swoons

This is Part 2 of a double post describing my trip to Costa Rica, April 17–28, 2012. Part 1 centers on San José, where I was working for a few days. This post focuses on the off-on-my-own, terrifying-crazy-awesome-fun time when I stayed in hostels on the Caribbean Sea.

I tried to get someone to come with me. But time and money, they don’t come easy. I didn’t think for a second just to skip it, yellerbelly not set forth on my own. This was Opportunity, handed right to me. It would be a waste to work a few days then go home.

But I would not have done this independently of already being in the country. I am not a particularly seasoned traveler. I “lived abroad” but uhhhh it was Canada. The last time I’d truly been far from familiarity was when I went to Germany and China as a teen—with herds of other tourists and adults doing the thinking.

All of this to say, somewhere along the way my wanderlust got rusty. In theory, ADVENTURE! In practice I don’t put my passport where my mouth is.

Throughout my time in San José, I was nervous—a good scared, but scared, grinning and crapping my pants knowing that soon I would be on my own. The work buffer was great to help me acculturate, learn the currency and collect bearings, but when I headed for the bus station across the city (for which I had no verifiable official name or actual address, to catch a bus I couldn’t book in advance, to be dropped off at another non-address oh lord) what was I thinking.

That everything would be fine.

It was.

For months I’d studied travel books and the advice of my siblings, trying to decide where to go. I ended up mostly following in their footsteps, which at first I wanted to avoid, like an ornery kid sister who wants her own story. Pshhh. They choose well, and I was wise to follow after: to Limón Province on the Caribbean Sea. They stayed in Puerto Viejo—I opted for Punta Uva a few kilometers away for three nights, which was more secluded with nicer beach, then in Puerto Viejo another two, closer to the action (restaurants, shops, reggae nonstop).

The next several shots I took from the bus, a trip of about 5 hours.

It was a Sunday and hot, the rivers filled with families.

We had a short break in Puerto Limón, next to a fantastic graveyard. Photos = necessary. A guy on the street laughed at me. I know the Spanish word for cemetery—I tried to read a bit of El Libro del Cementerio—but I didn’t know how to say Death Reference Librarian, or dark tourism, or taphophilia, so I smiled and shrugged, which made him laugh more.

Arrived at last!

After checking into my hostel, I raced to the beach 5 minutes away to see the sea before the sun set. Being so close to the equator, here night falls at about 6pm.

Walaba Hostel oozed charm.

Terrific communal space…

Nooks to relax…

More metal roofs tickling mah fancy…

My bunk room was relatively open to the unholy grumbles of the howler monkeys raging against the nightly storms. They sounded like dinosaurs or rabid dogs, and I wanted to see one, badly. Other people claimed to see them while lying in bed, looking out the window, or lounging in a hammock, or heck just walking down the street.

But I didn’t. See. A single monkey in the wild. Squirrels masquerading as monkeys? Yes. Monkey-shaped shadows and leaves? Plenty. Monkey monkeys? No. Muy disappointing.

At $6 a day, these cruisers were the bomb.

Despite being sunny every day in San José, when I got to the coast, it poured daily.

But if I let wet stop me, I wouldn’t have done anything. I grabbed a bike and rode to Manzanillo, a quiet town a few kilometers away.

I know this one!

BUZZARDS.

For a while I biked into what I think was a park, but honestly I don’t know am I supposed to be here?

Probably.

Not.

Definitely yes.

While great to meet people and tour about with others, exploring on my own was amazing. The sound of the sea, not a soul in sight… so peaceful, picture perfect.

Dogs were everywhere. Stray dogs, community dogs, jerk dogs like this one who ran me off the beach,

and chill-ass cool dogs. You’d see a dog in the afternoon inspecting a stream,

and the same dog in a club later that night, passed out in a corner.

This dog settled next to me as I read on the beach then, a few hours later, weaved among the revelers on the dance floor.

And birds. The birds! I heard way more than I saw, and it was fascinating to hear a sound and not know if it was an insect or a bird or some demented mammal.

A shout-out here to Amy who suggested I get Tevas. I was mucking through rain, fording rivers, falling in and out of the ocean and giant mud puddles, while also hiking and biking and dancing and in a couple questionable shower stalls. They were essential.

DRIFTWOOD DRAGON!

Want to play?

Yay!

Playa perritos. Muy tipico.

When planning my trip, I planned on there being another young woman somewhere in the world also planning a trip to Costa Rica. She might be Canadian, or German. I planned for us to meet, and we would have adventures.

She was German. Her name was Astrid. We ziplined through the canopy in the sheeting rain.

     

Despite my failure to see real monkeys in real trees, I did see several in quasi-captivity at a rescue and release center. I went into this enclosure and they climbed all over me—snuggling in my arms, leaping on my head and wrestling with other monkeys on my back.

Adorable sloth time!

After three nights, I moved to a hostel in Puerto Viejo. The town is an eclectic mix of Ticos (native Costa Ricans), Afro-Caribbeans, expatriates from all over and short- and long-term backpackers.

It’s touristy, for sure, with its hostel and outlying rustic resort infrastructure and guided tour outfits, but it didn’t seem fake and certainly not moneyed. I hesitate to say “unspoiled” or “authentic,” but it definitely had character and vibrancy, with touches of seediness and sleaziness while nonetheless never seeming dangerous.

Along with my stay in Punta Uva, the area was perfect for my comfort zone—pushed out enough I felt challenged and occasionally hopelessly, awkwardly American, but not crushingly alienated or unwelcome.

My dorm at Sunrise Hostel, however, left much to be desired. Some toilets didn’t have seats; others didn’t have lights. They tried to charge me more than double and my Spanish failed me, but I showed them math and prevailed.

Most restaurants dispense with walls.

I had amazing vegetarian food at Veronica’s Place, below. Overall, everywhere, the food was terrific—beans and rice never tasted so flavorful, and the fried plantains and fresh pineapple were to die for.

Kosher surfer chicken, mon!

My last day on the coast, I biked to Cahuita with Astrid, a good 17 kms (10.5 miles) one way.

I went flying through the rainforest dangling from a wire. I crashed in the waves of the Caribbean Sea. Dogs pawed, monkeys crawled all over me. En route back to San José, I went whitewater rafting, careening in the rapids of the gorgeous Pacuare River.

But what I loved best was just getting on a bike, leisurely pedaling through the gorgeousness of everything.

The bike rental guy warned us of clever thieves and recommended we lock our bikes outside the police station. Sounds reasonable. Upon finding the station in Cahuita with its telltale blue and white paint, we talked up a couple of cops who came to see what the foxy foreigners want. Oh sure, they’d watch our bikes. We could leave them right there.

But they wouldn’t let us lock them to anything. We questioned their logic. They assuaged with nonsense winks and smiles. We protested. They got mad.

We locked the bikes together and walked off shell-shocked, deciding half a minute later this was beyond strange and felt absurdly wrong. We went back to save our bikes amidst admonishments for not trusting them. We were literally yelled at by cops, but jeez, what were we supposed to do? Just let them get lifted? Find ourselves embroiled in some ridiculous scheme where our bikes are “stolen” but the macho trolls “catch the thieves” then expect to get paid or laid? It felt like a sham, a scam, a terribly naive and stupid idea.

So we left them with some Rasta guy instead.

We went to Cahuita for the pleasant ride but mostly for its national park.

Look! Two sloths!

Saw a hundred of these fellas.

A hundred of these translucent crabs, too, plus hermit crabs and cutter ants and a nonchalant raccoon.

I <3 epiphytes! (Plants that grow on other plants.)

The trip to Cahuita was my one day of sun, and I got burned, both ready for home and sad it came so soon. Early the next morning, I leave for the whitewater rafting tour, and in the evening they drop me off in San José. It was a randomly chosen hostel—I just needed a place to sleep before catching a plane the next morning. Sitting in the bar, devouring mac n cheese with a tall Costa Rican craft brew, I figure bed a foregone conclusion.

Then are you coming with us? comes at me five times in three minutes. Next thing I know, I pile in a car with 50 Cent blaring, a stoned Tico with a Finnish girl on his lap shouting in my ear, “How long you been in San José?” to have finally arrived in the company of gangsters, total strangers, hippies and Midwesterners with good hearts.

“About two hours.”

“Cool.”

We clown-car emerge in dance central in a university part of town dense and wild with glitz and swagger, smooth moves, drink, bright lights, Latin grooves, shy grins, nasty beats and anthems. Pulled into the fray, I find and flirt with the rhythm. My companions are mostly American, Australian and Brazilian, impressed and shocked and laughing asses off from my unexpected, unprecedented dance prowess.

I barely know their names but already we are us, comrades, a crew, and when one of us gets stolen by a hottie or a rogue to grind or pantomime being sultry or aloof we squeal and howl and fight back, plucking a Tico or a Tica from the mix while their friends whoop and die of scandal.

I wonder if the Punto Guantecasteco kids are here this is kind of what we’re like, you know? fun and energetic and mostly level-headed, friendly to dogs when they wander in the discos but fearing the ones made of metal.

I scan the swarm for el diablito.










(Thanks for reading!)

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 comments
 

adventures in libraryland, San Diego edition

January 7, 12 //
2
Narratives, Photography
libraries, swoons

Work sent me to San Diego. I did a lot of puking, hating my skin and presenting research skills half outside my body. My last day there I finally felt limber and walked around the city, eating acai bowls and telling the map lady in my fancy phone, “Library.”

WALK PAST AVIAN SURVEILLANCE.

WIDEN EYES AT POST OFFICE.

ROUND THE CORNER TO GREATNESS.

BYPASS LIFT.

SLIDE LEFT TO STAIRWELL.

SWOON RIGHT.

FLOAT FORWARD.

SWOON LEFT.

LEARN.

THRILL.

FAINT.

2
 comments
 

coffee table

June 12, 11 //
5
Shouts
swoons

I captured a Craigslist coffee table. I love it to bits but it dominates my living room, dances all the time, basically won’t shut up. Yes, those are drawers, and end leaves, too, though at least it has decency not to spread those wings of midcentury insanity, least not when I’m around.

Couch arrives next Friday — a handsome, cheerful but quiet piece that should be able to contain coffee table, at least settle it down.

Coffee table, chill!

5
 comments
 
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